For those of you who I talk to all the time or are friends with me on Facebook already know the awesome news. For those of you that don't here is what happened. After I went for a consult for my excess skin I thought surgery was out of reach. It was crazy expensive! 12,000 something just for my thighs!
I went back to life thinking, oh man I am going to have to wait on this. I was trying to think of different ways to raise money and get this done. I was told the insurance would most likely not pay for it. The doctor took photos and sent a request for surgery approval to my insurance. What was the worst thing they were going to say "NO!" I was ready to hear no!
My husband and I just got back from an awesome vacation in California. After a long morning of teaching crazy third graders I went to lunch. I saw on on my phone I had a voicemail from the hospital. As I listened it was the plastic surgery office. I thought it was just a call telling me I was denied. It was the total flip side. They were calling because I was approved and they wanted me to schedule my surgery!!!! I was freaken shocked! I spent the rest of the day telling everyone I could at work and on the phone. Crying every time of course!
Since that day I have done a lot scheduled my surgery, ask for time off, found a sub, been excited, and I have been worrying a lot! I have had roadblocks recently. I had laryngitis during my pre-op appointments. They said if I don't get better they won't operate on me. I have gotten much better since then. I am not perfect. I am still hoping they will put me under tomorrow. I also had my Long Term sub cancel on me. I am super happy for her though, because she got a real teaching job. So now I'm about to have surgery and I don't have a sub to cover my time off. I have wanted this so bad since I had my Bypass 5 years ago. I will not let these roadblocks stop me.
Tomorrow morning I will go into The Ohio State University Hospital to have my skin removed. I am crazy excited and crazy nervous. I have the best doctor at the hospital doing my surgery! I really hope I can wear pants after this! This time there are a ton of rules this time. There are even fruits I can't eat! Oh well! Its almost time to get some sleep before surgery. Now off to shower with some Medical Grade Soap! Yay!
Tuesday, December 26, 2017
Sunday, August 20, 2017
Plastic Surgery!!!!!!
Well I know its been a while.......but I have started back to school. There is just one thing that is always on my mind PLASTIC SURGERY, and getting these stupid legs into pants haha.
I went to The Ohio State University Plastic Surgery Center for a consultation. It was awesome to finally have a real discussion about REALLY REALLY fixing my skin. I took this time to talk to my doctor about all parts of my body legs first, arms second, and stomach/chest last. While she looked over my skin it was very interesting to hear what she said. I learned more about how skin works and stretches than I ever did before.
As many of you know I have been working hard this summer to get in better shape and start building muscle sooooooo........
One awesome part of the appointment was when she was looking at my stomach she said "Oh you have some nice abs under there!"
I said "HA I knew they were in there FUCK yea!" She and my husband looked at me like I was nuts! But, hey I was so excited I wanted to cut my stomach skin off right then just so I could see my abs 😁.
She came to the conclusion that my legs will both need two surgeries each. My legs will end up being one surgery on their own. I didn't know this but doctors can only be in surgery for a max of 5 hours. At least in this department. So the legs must be done alone. Here is what will happen I will need a inner thigh lift on both legs. This will result in scars from my knee to my groin and up from there by my underwear line. Next she will do a outer thigh lift with liposuction to my outer hips as well. I will then have scars on both hips right where my underwear line would be.
Next would be the arms. They are more simple she will just cut off the excess skin. The cool part is that she puts the scar on the back of the arm so that its not so visible.
Last would be my stomach and chest. My stomach would need two different types of surgeries. This will result in an anchor shaped scar. One from taking the skin flap off of my lower stomach, and the other from pulling together the upper stomach skin. Lastly would be the chest. This would just be a simple lift and skin removal.
Of course my last question to her was how much will this cost? My insurance will not pay for anything. She told me she would mail me the prices.
Mail me the prices?!? Oh Lord!
This was already a lot to take in and then I got
the letter in the mail.
Legs: 12,194
Arms: 6,565
Stomach/Chest: 9,672
Total: 28,431
Now since clearly I can't have them done at once the cost will be spread out a bit. However, who just has that kind of money sitting around? Not me!!!! It is just hard to fathom handing over 50% of that just to hold the date for the surgeries. Then hand over the other half before its even done. I know its worth it, I know its less than what I and others thought, and I know it will change my life for the better. It is still a daunting
number to have to look at. Hopefully I can have
my legs done by next summer. Everything else
will have to stay on hold.
I went to The Ohio State University Plastic Surgery Center for a consultation. It was awesome to finally have a real discussion about REALLY REALLY fixing my skin. I took this time to talk to my doctor about all parts of my body legs first, arms second, and stomach/chest last. While she looked over my skin it was very interesting to hear what she said. I learned more about how skin works and stretches than I ever did before.
As many of you know I have been working hard this summer to get in better shape and start building muscle sooooooo........
One awesome part of the appointment was when she was looking at my stomach she said "Oh you have some nice abs under there!"
I said "HA I knew they were in there FUCK yea!" She and my husband looked at me like I was nuts! But, hey I was so excited I wanted to cut my stomach skin off right then just so I could see my abs 😁.
She came to the conclusion that my legs will both need two surgeries each. My legs will end up being one surgery on their own. I didn't know this but doctors can only be in surgery for a max of 5 hours. At least in this department. So the legs must be done alone. Here is what will happen I will need a inner thigh lift on both legs. This will result in scars from my knee to my groin and up from there by my underwear line. Next she will do a outer thigh lift with liposuction to my outer hips as well. I will then have scars on both hips right where my underwear line would be.
Next would be the arms. They are more simple she will just cut off the excess skin. The cool part is that she puts the scar on the back of the arm so that its not so visible.
Last would be my stomach and chest. My stomach would need two different types of surgeries. This will result in an anchor shaped scar. One from taking the skin flap off of my lower stomach, and the other from pulling together the upper stomach skin. Lastly would be the chest. This would just be a simple lift and skin removal.
Of course my last question to her was how much will this cost? My insurance will not pay for anything. She told me she would mail me the prices.
Mail me the prices?!? Oh Lord!
This was already a lot to take in and then I gotthe letter in the mail.
Legs: 12,194
Arms: 6,565
Stomach/Chest: 9,672
Total: 28,431
Now since clearly I can't have them done at once the cost will be spread out a bit. However, who just has that kind of money sitting around? Not me!!!! It is just hard to fathom handing over 50% of that just to hold the date for the surgeries. Then hand over the other half before its even done. I know its worth it, I know its less than what I and others thought, and I know it will change my life for the better. It is still a daunting
number to have to look at. Hopefully I can have
my legs done by next summer. Everything else
will have to stay on hold.
Thursday, August 3, 2017
SUMMER IS OVER? WAIT COME BACK!
Sooooooooo this summer being over thing is crap! I took on this summer with the attitude that I was going to take care of me this summer! I just yesterday went into my classroom for the first time. I locked it up in May and never looked back! That might have been the best thing for me. Part of being a teacher is coming back in August and asking each other what you did this summer. Usually people go on vacation, spend time with their kids, and go to the pool A LOT! When teaching buddies ask me what I did I have been saying "I took this summer to take care of my self!". To answer the question how did you do that? Well here is how it started.
1. COLORING - I started coloring the first day I was home! I have colored almost every day of this summer! I have colored so much I had to stop and get a compression glove to help with the pain. Coloring is relaxing, fun, and challenging. I started doing EXTREME color by number pages. Coring has become a new healthy addiction.
2. STRING ART - I started doing string art all I have to say is well its awesome and I would love to do more!
3. GYM - I went to the gym almost every day! I made it a summer goal to try and go every day! I was annoyed at first that I wasn't loosing weight. I had melt downs and disappointments. I had to go to my doctor to get some extra help and mental support.
4. BEHAVIOR THERAPY - I started seeing a therapist this summer. She is awesome she has blue hair and isn't treating me like a cookie cutter person. She is helping me with body image issues, depression, weight and eating, and self love. BEST THING EVER! All thanks goes to my Bariatric doctor who said lets get you some help. It was the best thing for me and I sure wasn't reaching out for help. Someone needed to push me.
5. DOCTORS, DOCTORS, DOCTORS!!!!!! - I saw all of my doctors this summer to make sure I am healthy. It ended up costing me more money and new implant in my mouth! However, going to the doctor is good for everyone. If you don't see a doctor at least once a year you really should!
I ALSO FINALLY SAW A PLASTIC SURGON AND I AM JUST FREAKEN EXCITED TO SHARE THAT WITH ALL OF YOU IN ANOTHER POST.
6. SUPPORT - Spending quality time with people that make you happy is very important. I spent a ton of time with my husband/best friend. Went shopping with friends. Got coffee a bunch of times with my mom and sherrie! Ate at new places!
7. REST - YES JUST REST!
SO what did you do this summer? I took care of me and did things that made me happy!!!!!! Here are some of my favorite pictures of summer!
Tuesday, July 25, 2017
Pants with no tears!
So this weekend I went on a shopping trip. I tried on a few pairs of pants. I tried to remember that the number doesn't matter and just move onto to the next.
This weekend the trying on was great! usually try pants on and get annoyed and just give up. However, this weekend at the GAP I found pants that actually fit. I bought two of them. I couldn't buy the third pair the color was strange it made my butt look like two misshapen grapes.
I actually had an awesome weekend shopping and felt great when I left. I am so glad I have the support of my family and friends through all of this.
This weekend the trying on was great! usually try pants on and get annoyed and just give up. However, this weekend at the GAP I found pants that actually fit. I bought two of them. I couldn't buy the third pair the color was strange it made my butt look like two misshapen grapes.
I actually had an awesome weekend shopping and felt great when I left. I am so glad I have the support of my family and friends through all of this.
Friday, July 14, 2017
Veggie Burger! 😬
Sorry I haven't been writing much. Super busy and just didn't feel inspired to say anything! But, now I do! I have always been told that veggie burgers, black bean burgers, or fake meat of any kind was nasty! I can't tolerate meat much anymore so I thought I would give Boca Spicy Black Bean Burgers a try. I can honestly say they were awesome! No they don't taste like meat! Don't expect them to because it won't. The shape color and texture is about the same as a normal burger. To cook it you put some oil in a skillet and heat it up. Then cook them 4 min per side. Bam lunch! It was very good and super healthy I loved it! I also bought the grill version, I'm excited to try those next! It just goes to show you can't judge a book by its cover! So yummy!
Yea the picture is a bit dark. I put it on a thin slice of bread, with French onion spread, and bacon parm Brussel(almost sure that is spelled wrong) sprouts on the side. Just had to share my awesome lunch with everyone!
Sunday, June 25, 2017
Workout Buddy!
Lately I have gotten used to working out by my self. I used to think I can't do this without a buddy. I can do it and I have. However, yesterday I went to work out while my friend Jessica was meeting with my brother for a first personal training meeting. After they were done I was able to not only work out with a awesome friend it was nice to have someone there who you can support and who can support you! Will this happen all the time? No because ain't nobody got time for that lol!
Even if it is once in a while working out with someone is fun, helpful, it makes you stronger, and it can make your friendship stronger! I am so thankful for Jessica she has been a friend forever, and our mothers were friends before we were born. We may have lived apart for many years. But, it's awesome to hangout with you again! We will get stronger together! Of course we couldn't do any of this with the support and care from my brother Craig. Craig you inspire everyone to be a better person inside and out!
Even if it is once in a while working out with someone is fun, helpful, it makes you stronger, and it can make your friendship stronger! I am so thankful for Jessica she has been a friend forever, and our mothers were friends before we were born. We may have lived apart for many years. But, it's awesome to hangout with you again! We will get stronger together! Of course we couldn't do any of this with the support and care from my brother Craig. Craig you inspire everyone to be a better person inside and out!
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
Uncomfortable bra!
So this post won't be long I just need to vent about bra's. They are so very uncomfortable! Mostly when your weight or size change. For example, I was walking today and I felt like my bra was falling down like sliding down my back. Really I finally found one that fits and is comfortable now it doesn't fit! Can you say annoyed? There are so many kinds of bras so let's just go over some.
Regular wal-mart bra- ummm mostly crap......I found some I like they are getting better as the years go by.
Victoria Secret - yea the real secret is I HAVE NO BOOBS! These can be classy to super sexy. They also cost a million dollars. Semi annual sale will help there. If you have big boobs like I used to forget it Victoria doesn't care!
Sports bra- I am beginning to like them more and more it hold them up and is comfy. Also for some reason I feel like a badass workout chick when I wear one.
Strapless Bra- HA HA yea freaken right. They never stay up if you can get them to stay up well good for you. I either say let them hang free or show straps!
No BRA- By far the best choice! Let's just go with that!
Lastly Lacy Fancy ones- ohhh they are see though, lacy, sexy, and fun? Haha no the idea is good not always comfortable. Sure men like them but, pft who cares.
Bottom Line-find what works if nothing does well just forget it, and let them just be boobs haha!
Regular wal-mart bra- ummm mostly crap......I found some I like they are getting better as the years go by.
Victoria Secret - yea the real secret is I HAVE NO BOOBS! These can be classy to super sexy. They also cost a million dollars. Semi annual sale will help there. If you have big boobs like I used to forget it Victoria doesn't care!
Sports bra- I am beginning to like them more and more it hold them up and is comfy. Also for some reason I feel like a badass workout chick when I wear one.
Strapless Bra- HA HA yea freaken right. They never stay up if you can get them to stay up well good for you. I either say let them hang free or show straps!
No BRA- By far the best choice! Let's just go with that!
Lastly Lacy Fancy ones- ohhh they are see though, lacy, sexy, and fun? Haha no the idea is good not always comfortable. Sure men like them but, pft who cares.
Bottom Line-find what works if nothing does well just forget it, and let them just be boobs haha!
Sunday, June 18, 2017
Words can still hurt!
I had such a great time this weekend. I was enjoying my weekend and feeling great about working out for 9 days in a row, eating healthy, and tracking my food. I was feeling great and spent yesterday with my family who said I looked much better. My skin is still a problem but I am still working towards my goal and I am gaining new muscle everyday!
Well then today someone said to me "Wow you've been gaining weight again!" I almost hit the floor. Yes I've gained some back. Hello I was almost a skeleton before. I am working hard everyday! I feel better in my body. I have lost 7 pounds. I am working with my awesome brother/personal trainer Craig. It was painful to hear those words. I said to them well I have been working out and eating what I'm supposed to and I've lost weight. All they said was hmmmmm........hmmmm?????? really?
No one is perfect! I'm not for sure. I will never be. Even though I know I feel and look better those words still hurt. I remember growing up in school and walking though class with boys saying "Watch out the whale is coming!" Girls were not much nicer. I am thankful for private school. I'm sure that helped a bunch! However, I will never forget all of the words, stupid names, and looks I've gotten throughout the years. Even though I have lost the weight some words still hurt. Then it causes all of the lost bad words that have been said wash back into my brain like a monsoon.
Oh well this to will pass. Tomorrow is a new day. I will most likely work harder tomorrow because of the hurtful words. I have my yearly Gastric Bypass check up in a few weeks. It always makes me nervous. I think this year will be hard but I know that I am working hard, I will get better, and I will succeed.
P.S. I took this picture the other day before I worked out because well I felt awesome! I thought I looked amazing. I know I see change! So ha!
To those hurtful words from today all I have to say is FU!
Well then today someone said to me "Wow you've been gaining weight again!" I almost hit the floor. Yes I've gained some back. Hello I was almost a skeleton before. I am working hard everyday! I feel better in my body. I have lost 7 pounds. I am working with my awesome brother/personal trainer Craig. It was painful to hear those words. I said to them well I have been working out and eating what I'm supposed to and I've lost weight. All they said was hmmmmm........hmmmm?????? really?
No one is perfect! I'm not for sure. I will never be. Even though I know I feel and look better those words still hurt. I remember growing up in school and walking though class with boys saying "Watch out the whale is coming!" Girls were not much nicer. I am thankful for private school. I'm sure that helped a bunch! However, I will never forget all of the words, stupid names, and looks I've gotten throughout the years. Even though I have lost the weight some words still hurt. Then it causes all of the lost bad words that have been said wash back into my brain like a monsoon.
Oh well this to will pass. Tomorrow is a new day. I will most likely work harder tomorrow because of the hurtful words. I have my yearly Gastric Bypass check up in a few weeks. It always makes me nervous. I think this year will be hard but I know that I am working hard, I will get better, and I will succeed.
P.S. I took this picture the other day before I worked out because well I felt awesome! I thought I looked amazing. I know I see change! So ha!
To those hurtful words from today all I have to say is FU!
Friday, June 16, 2017
Yummy!
Wow haven't been on here in a few days. I have been super busy and trying to get work done for a class I'm taking. I have some awesome things to share today!
1. I have worked out everyday for the last 8 days. I don't ever remember a time where that has happened.
2. I have finally figured out how to use my wireless headphones! Now I can jam during my work out.
3. I have started tracking my food again using my fitness pal. In order for me to lose any weight I need to eat less than 890 calories a day. However, now that I have been lifting and gaining some muscle mass I can eat a little more. Now I can have 1,000 calories a day! This is still SUPER hard to do. I have gone over each day by no more than 100 calories. I hate tracking my food. I don't know if it's because I have to face what I'm really eating or that I just hate having to do it. It's most likely both.
4. I finally found a protein powder I like! I found two! However, I don't remember the name of one I bought it in bulk by the pound and didn't take a picture of the bottle. So I have always loved graham crackers. I can't eat them now after surgery. I can't find an alternative that I like. I read on line that there are protein powders that taste like graham crackers. I stopped my Vitamin Shoppe to look around and I found this for 50% off I got it for 14.99! It was such an amazing deal I had to turn the car around to go get my brother some! Syntha-6 not only has awesome tasting bars but their powder is amazing as well! I'm so happy I found one I can not only tolerate but one I love!
1. I have worked out everyday for the last 8 days. I don't ever remember a time where that has happened.
2. I have finally figured out how to use my wireless headphones! Now I can jam during my work out.
3. I have started tracking my food again using my fitness pal. In order for me to lose any weight I need to eat less than 890 calories a day. However, now that I have been lifting and gaining some muscle mass I can eat a little more. Now I can have 1,000 calories a day! This is still SUPER hard to do. I have gone over each day by no more than 100 calories. I hate tracking my food. I don't know if it's because I have to face what I'm really eating or that I just hate having to do it. It's most likely both.
4. I finally found a protein powder I like! I found two! However, I don't remember the name of one I bought it in bulk by the pound and didn't take a picture of the bottle. So I have always loved graham crackers. I can't eat them now after surgery. I can't find an alternative that I like. I read on line that there are protein powders that taste like graham crackers. I stopped my Vitamin Shoppe to look around and I found this for 50% off I got it for 14.99! It was such an amazing deal I had to turn the car around to go get my brother some! Syntha-6 not only has awesome tasting bars but their powder is amazing as well! I'm so happy I found one I can not only tolerate but one I love!
Ok that's it I'm tired! Good night world see you tomorrow! It's going to be a great day!
Tuesday, June 13, 2017
Skin Skin Skin!
Yesterday was a crazy day. I went to the gym and lifted, then went to Zumba with my friends Jessica and Tiffany! Wow that was a ton of work and sweat! I was walking on the treadmill at the gym and I happened to catch a view of my leg skin moving/shaking. It's so strange because I felt so good walking then I saw my legs and thought ugh! I felt like a wonderful hard working person. After I saw my legs in the mirror I thought a little less. However, I just had to force my mind to say "no I look good on this treadmill!"
Those of you who know me understand I don't care about my extra skin. After all I worked very hard to gain my skin. People love to gawk at my legs. I have gotten used to people looking at my skin sometimes I even shake my leg at them and make then feel more confused. I have so much skin on my legs it is very difficult to find pants that fit. I have spent many mornings crying and throwing pants around my room because they don't fit in my legs. I have also spent time shopping with my husband and crying in dressing rooms because I just can't find pants that fit. During the school year I have to look professional. I always have to wear skirts, dresses, or super baggie pants. Part of the reason I called my blog "Sky's Out Thighs Out" is because in the summer I live by that. I wear shorts every day. Yes they are crazy short, yea my skin hangs out and, shakes around. It doesn't matter to me I am just so happy to wear something I feel free in.
I get a million comments about my skin. I have students who come up and touch my arms and say eww why is your skin like that. I always explain to them I used to weigh a lot and I lost a bunch of weight and this is what's left over. This year I had a student that I had the previous year ask me "Hey Mrs. Duncan why don't just get that extra skin cut off or something?!?!" I told him it is very expensive it's about $5,000 a part of the body. He stood there for a while thinking about what I said and then he said "Wow thats like $20,000/$25,000 dollars!" I was very impressed with the math skills of this first grade student. I told him yep that's why it's still there. I love the skin I'm in. It is a mark of how hard I worked to get here. It won't go away working out won't fix it. I am so very happy to be healthy and on the right path for the rest of my life.
I loved getting married it the love of my life in 2015. Our honeymoon was so fun! I wore a two piece bikini for the first time ever. I figured I'm going to the Bahamas no one cares what I look like anyway! I felt awesome in my skin so proud of the way I looked.
I still love showing off my skin. I'm not afrade to show it to other people or shake it in their face. Even though I have gained back a few pounds I still think I look great. Some people in my support groups have said how can you wear shorts? I would never wear shorts. They were embarrassed to show their skin. I know some people have skin problems worse than mine. However, they should still feel good about what they have done. Once I said something to a mean lady who was pointing and laughing at my legs with her and her friends. I went up to them shook my leg in their faces and said " I HAVE LOST 160 POUNDS! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" I don't think they liked what I had to say, but hey I'm not going to let someone do that to me or anyone else.
I every day I'm still working on my self and how I feel in my skin. At the gym I felt I wanted to take pictures of me that way I can see progress. It's funny how I think when I look at the above pictures compared to pictures from yesterday. I see failure in someways and progress in others. Skin is in and it will always be for me. Someday I will be able to wear pants and love the way my legs feel in them. Until that time I will keep working hard. I can even see in one picture where my skin is hanging under my leg how much muscles I have and how toned that muscle is. It's all there but it's just covered up by silly skin!
Those of you who know me understand I don't care about my extra skin. After all I worked very hard to gain my skin. People love to gawk at my legs. I have gotten used to people looking at my skin sometimes I even shake my leg at them and make then feel more confused. I have so much skin on my legs it is very difficult to find pants that fit. I have spent many mornings crying and throwing pants around my room because they don't fit in my legs. I have also spent time shopping with my husband and crying in dressing rooms because I just can't find pants that fit. During the school year I have to look professional. I always have to wear skirts, dresses, or super baggie pants. Part of the reason I called my blog "Sky's Out Thighs Out" is because in the summer I live by that. I wear shorts every day. Yes they are crazy short, yea my skin hangs out and, shakes around. It doesn't matter to me I am just so happy to wear something I feel free in.
I get a million comments about my skin. I have students who come up and touch my arms and say eww why is your skin like that. I always explain to them I used to weigh a lot and I lost a bunch of weight and this is what's left over. This year I had a student that I had the previous year ask me "Hey Mrs. Duncan why don't just get that extra skin cut off or something?!?!" I told him it is very expensive it's about $5,000 a part of the body. He stood there for a while thinking about what I said and then he said "Wow thats like $20,000/$25,000 dollars!" I was very impressed with the math skills of this first grade student. I told him yep that's why it's still there. I love the skin I'm in. It is a mark of how hard I worked to get here. It won't go away working out won't fix it. I am so very happy to be healthy and on the right path for the rest of my life.
I loved getting married it the love of my life in 2015. Our honeymoon was so fun! I wore a two piece bikini for the first time ever. I figured I'm going to the Bahamas no one cares what I look like anyway! I felt awesome in my skin so proud of the way I looked.
I still love showing off my skin. I'm not afrade to show it to other people or shake it in their face. Even though I have gained back a few pounds I still think I look great. Some people in my support groups have said how can you wear shorts? I would never wear shorts. They were embarrassed to show their skin. I know some people have skin problems worse than mine. However, they should still feel good about what they have done. Once I said something to a mean lady who was pointing and laughing at my legs with her and her friends. I went up to them shook my leg in their faces and said " I HAVE LOST 160 POUNDS! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" I don't think they liked what I had to say, but hey I'm not going to let someone do that to me or anyone else.
I every day I'm still working on my self and how I feel in my skin. At the gym I felt I wanted to take pictures of me that way I can see progress. It's funny how I think when I look at the above pictures compared to pictures from yesterday. I see failure in someways and progress in others. Skin is in and it will always be for me. Someday I will be able to wear pants and love the way my legs feel in them. Until that time I will keep working hard. I can even see in one picture where my skin is hanging under my leg how much muscles I have and how toned that muscle is. It's all there but it's just covered up by silly skin!
Sunday, June 11, 2017
Crafting VS Crunching!
So I was thinking today as I talked to my mom. I had made a peace sign string art thing. I noticed that my mind wasn't focused on food the whole time and I was focused and determined to finish it that day. Sometimes I just sit and watch tv or read a book and it's like I get board and want to snack on or drink something. This is clearly NOT what I should be doing. It's always been the same struggle. It all comes back to even if you are given an amazing tool, diet, or plan you still have to make the right mental choice. IT IS SO HARD! Oh sure some people say to me just put it down! Oh well sure that's soooo easy! I would put it down yea and pick it right back up! I have heard before that keeping your mind busy and not leaving empty time for grazing is helpful. Now this I can agree with.
I know what I love to do that's not eating. I love to color, make fun stuff, workout (YES I JUST SAID THAT!) and swim! I need to continue to do those things that make me happy when I am done. When I'm done eating at a time I'm not supposed to, or eating the wrong thing it makes me feel even worse about myself. So what happens? I freaking do it again! Over the last two weeks I have been doing little projects like string art or coloring. When I am done I feel happy and I want to keep going. Nothing else really matters I have to get to the next color, nail, string, or whatever! I told my mom yesterday "I think I want to do this string art crap all the time I love it!"
I think though I only need so many things in my house that are not going to get hung up! So with all of that being said. If you ever want me to make you anything......stringart, wine glass animals, or anything crafty..... I would love to help you out! Just leave a comment or message me on Facebook. Find something that makes you happy when you done. Feeling guilty or sad when you've finished something just isn't a great way to feel.
I know what I love to do that's not eating. I love to color, make fun stuff, workout (YES I JUST SAID THAT!) and swim! I need to continue to do those things that make me happy when I am done. When I'm done eating at a time I'm not supposed to, or eating the wrong thing it makes me feel even worse about myself. So what happens? I freaking do it again! Over the last two weeks I have been doing little projects like string art or coloring. When I am done I feel happy and I want to keep going. Nothing else really matters I have to get to the next color, nail, string, or whatever! I told my mom yesterday "I think I want to do this string art crap all the time I love it!"
I think though I only need so many things in my house that are not going to get hung up! So with all of that being said. If you ever want me to make you anything......stringart, wine glass animals, or anything crafty..... I would love to help you out! Just leave a comment or message me on Facebook. Find something that makes you happy when you done. Feeling guilty or sad when you've finished something just isn't a great way to feel.
Thursday, June 8, 2017
Food you stupid thing!
Haven't posted in almost two days! Training Wednesday and then I got addicted to coding! Today I was out all day working on stuff for school! I chose to eat out which is always hard for me. It seems near impossible to make good choices when all my brain wants is CRAP, CRAP, CRAP, and more Crap. I did make a good protein chose for lunch no bread with my smoked sausage. Yes smoked sausage is high fat and high salt. There went many other good choices then I chose bread as a side. I had a break down of mental toughness. I felt fine after I ate. Then dinner came a few hours later. I chose a chicken salad with garlic olive oil dressing on the side. However, when I was done eating the salad I felt sick for over an hour! Eat junk feel fine! Eat healthy food and my body didn't know what to do with it.
Every day can't be perfect nor can every meal be perfect every time. I try to make the best choices and you know what? Smetimes I don't make good ones! Every meal is a new start and every day is a new day! I will try again tomorrow and I'm working out with my brother tomorrow! I'm excited for that! I still can barely walk from Monday and Tuesdays workout!
Every day can't be perfect nor can every meal be perfect every time. I try to make the best choices and you know what? Smetimes I don't make good ones! Every meal is a new start and every day is a new day! I will try again tomorrow and I'm working out with my brother tomorrow! I'm excited for that! I still can barely walk from Monday and Tuesdays workout!
Tuesday, June 6, 2017
I WORK OUT!
So today was the first day of my workout adventure by my self. As some of you know yesterday my awesome bro taught me some starter work out things. I also took his advice on a three part supplement process. I am always so deathly sore after I work out and I always feel like I have no energy when I go. So I thought I would share what I did today!
1. I used this pre-workout (pictured below) it is super yummy and gives me the energy to work hard and want to be there. It does have some weird things that go with it. Really, i'm just not used to it. Your heart rate will go up, and your fingers and ears might tingle. I thought I might be dying the first time I took it (Yes I was dramatic). I called Craig to see if this was normal and he said (In short) "Yes its all normal, and go run around the block or something you'll be fine!" I thought that was so funny. He was right I started to feel better once I got started. This is a great healthy way to get your work out started.
1. I used this pre-workout (pictured below) it is super yummy and gives me the energy to work hard and want to be there. It does have some weird things that go with it. Really, i'm just not used to it. Your heart rate will go up, and your fingers and ears might tingle. I thought I might be dying the first time I took it (Yes I was dramatic). I called Craig to see if this was normal and he said (In short) "Yes its all normal, and go run around the block or something you'll be fine!" I thought that was so funny. He was right I started to feel better once I got started. This is a great healthy way to get your work out started.
2. I started just today BPI Best BCAA. This is for muscle recovery. I don't feel as sore as I did yesterday or this morning. I don't know what else to say except it taste very good. Usually anything fruit punch flavored I stay away from, but this was all that they had at the store. It ended up tasting awesome! I was very happy with it!
3. After my workout I thought I would try a protein shake thing. I use this type to make smoothies sometimes. So I thought oh yea it will be great! WRONG it was nasty!(mixed with water) It has a great taste usually and it has little crunchy bits that makes it taste like cereal. Well when you mix it with water and just drink it the chunky bits looked like rice and taste like little squishy worms in my mouth! GROSS! I might not be doing that flavor again.
Even with the weird protein powder experience I still had an awesome workout and felt great about what I put into my body. I am not totally sure I will be able to walk tomorrow, but I know the pain will be a good pain. Starting to feel better!
Monday, June 5, 2017
New You!
Yes the surgery does fix your stomach. However, it doesn't fit your mind or life style. I have been struggling to change my life style and mental look out on life. I know I NEVER want to be 303 pounds ever again! It is hard to commit to going everyday. Anything can be done with an amazing support system! I started working out with my awesome brother this morning! I have been working on my own for a few weeks now. Help from someone who you know that has the knowledge to help is always good! Now I have new things to work on at the gym.
I was so excited to go workout with my brother Craig this morning!
For me it's not the working out part that is hard it's the getting there and getting started that is hard. I always have a million on reasons why I don't, can't, want to go. I just try to remind my self where I have been, what I used to look like, and where I want to be. That is what helps me get there but I still hate it sometimes. I'm sure it will become more enjoyable over time. I hope you have a great Monday!
I was so excited to go workout with my brother Craig this morning!
Saturday, June 3, 2017
Where's The Beef?
I was reminded tonight of why I hate red meat. (I got a stupid 1/4 of a meatball stuck) So where's the beef? NOT IN MY STOMACH! I always heard that people after weight loss surgery would have trouble with some foods like beef, rice, bread, and extra dry chicken or turkey. Well the first time I came face to face with the devil.....BEEF was oh about 10 weeks after surgery. We cooked it all day in the crock pot with beef stock. It's supposed to make it nice and tender and easy to eat.....yea sure! Well I took one bite I chewed it well or at least I thought I did. Before I knew it I was in the bathroom trying to choose if I was...... 1. Dying because the pain was so bad. 2. Was I going to throw up? (Nope that shit would not come back up) 3. Was I going to go number 2? So there I sat on the toilet holding the trash can on my lap and crying in pain because of a little piece of beef? Yes STUPID beef! Little did I know this wasn't going to be just a one time event!
I am almost 5 years out and I still have trouble eating any kind of animal protein. I also have a sliding hernia which makes meat even more annoying to eat! Through all of this I have learned many things..... 1. Beef is evil! 2. Fish is amazing! 3. You have to chew your food to death! 4. If you choose to eat the wrong thing or even eat the right thing the wrong way you will pay for it!
I am able to eat more animal protein than I was when my stomach was new. I still have the most trouble with beef and then chicken. My new stomach does a lot of weird stuff now..... however I am way better off with a weird stomach and some odd side effects than I am weighing 303 pounds.
So what I do I think about beef? Well let's just say "Save the cows!" They look better as a living cute cow than a piece of meat that will either be ok to eat or might almost kill me!
Final thought: As I was driving home from a wonderful weekend at my moms I saw those cute brown and white cows. I though hmmmmm I really wish they made chocolate milk like my mom and dad said they did when I was 5!
Thanks for reading!
#skysoutthighsout
I am almost 5 years out and I still have trouble eating any kind of animal protein. I also have a sliding hernia which makes meat even more annoying to eat! Through all of this I have learned many things..... 1. Beef is evil! 2. Fish is amazing! 3. You have to chew your food to death! 4. If you choose to eat the wrong thing or even eat the right thing the wrong way you will pay for it!
I am able to eat more animal protein than I was when my stomach was new. I still have the most trouble with beef and then chicken. My new stomach does a lot of weird stuff now..... however I am way better off with a weird stomach and some odd side effects than I am weighing 303 pounds.
So what I do I think about beef? Well let's just say "Save the cows!" They look better as a living cute cow than a piece of meat that will either be ok to eat or might almost kill me!
Final thought: As I was driving home from a wonderful weekend at my moms I saw those cute brown and white cows. I though hmmmmm I really wish they made chocolate milk like my mom and dad said they did when I was 5!
Thanks for reading!
#skysoutthighsout
Thursday, June 1, 2017
Coloring & Cooking
Today was a relaxing day! After working out like crazy the last three days I took a day off. I got to spend the day coloring and drinking coffee on my deck. I also took my extra time to make some yummy food!
I started a new color by number picture! Next I made a cherry pie with a homemade sugar free cherry pie filling! It turned out awesome and tasted awesome as well!
Followed up by a healthy dinner for my husband and I. Baked pork loin and oven baked parm green beans! So not to many amazing thoughts for today. Just thankful for a quiet day and a happy life provided by God.
I hope some of you will follow me to see what comes next!
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
Workout! UGH......why?
I am sure most can agree that working out is not what they enjoy most. I know that was always me the one girl in gym class who couldn't run fast and could not do a mile if I wanted to. I always felt inside like I wanted to do all of these amazing wonderful things I see others doing.
It was one of my reasons for having the Gastric Bypass. I wanted to ride a roller coaster and know that I could fit in the seat. I wanted to go zip lining but you had to be under a number. Heck even water slides have limits. I wanted to be limitless. Can I just say......really water slides weight limit? I know I was big but dang I wasn't about to block a tube or bounce out of a slide! If anything I went faster. However, getting to the top was the hardest part. I can do so many more things now than I ever could before. Hold on I've gone of topic here......ummmmm.
Oh Yeah! Working out! They said I would need to workout after surgery to help not only lose the weight but to keep it off. It also helps the skin go back( yea right I'm pretty sure some of the skin was like NOPE IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE!) I worked out in the beginning a few times a week. Then once I lost the weight I thought oh I'm good now. Haha I was so wrong. I was good for a while and I was still losing. However, at one point I started to look unhealthy. I even remember standing in my living room holding my skin leaning under a light and asking my husband if he could see my spleen! I was laughing then but now looking back I was most likely to small. When you can see all your ribs and are wondering if people can see your organs well that's a little much!
I started gaining some weight back. I think my body is happy at 130-150. However, after being in the 115-118 range I saw and still see myself as 300 pounds. It is a daily struggle to look in the mirror and say "fuck yea I look awesome!" I started working out again and have made a commitment to go daily. I always try and do my best but sometimes it's hard and I just want to go home. I still make my self go and at least do something. If I don't go at all I will never go back. My brother goes everyday! Even when we went on vacation he went everyday! He inspires me every day and is part of the reason I am determined to go every day! He even answers my stupid questions like "should my arms be tingling? Is it ok if my heart rate is 130?" I am planning on going even more this summer! The goal it's to go everyday or at least 5 of 7 days! With one day being with my brother to help me out! I can already see changes. I see muscle gain but not weight loss. That had always been hard for me. I know though if I keep working at it I will someday look at myself and say yes I can see good change. .
Don't get me wrong I love my body and all my saggy skin. I also don't care what anyone thinks or has to say. At the end of the day it's how do I feel in my own skin. A scale with a ton of shitty not nice numbers on it will not and should not ruin anyone's day. I try not to weigh my self. Maybe once a month or so. I try to focus on how I feel in my own skin and in my clothes! Here are some pictures of my progress just this week at the gym.
It was one of my reasons for having the Gastric Bypass. I wanted to ride a roller coaster and know that I could fit in the seat. I wanted to go zip lining but you had to be under a number. Heck even water slides have limits. I wanted to be limitless. Can I just say......really water slides weight limit? I know I was big but dang I wasn't about to block a tube or bounce out of a slide! If anything I went faster. However, getting to the top was the hardest part. I can do so many more things now than I ever could before. Hold on I've gone of topic here......ummmmm.
Oh Yeah! Working out! They said I would need to workout after surgery to help not only lose the weight but to keep it off. It also helps the skin go back( yea right I'm pretty sure some of the skin was like NOPE IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE!) I worked out in the beginning a few times a week. Then once I lost the weight I thought oh I'm good now. Haha I was so wrong. I was good for a while and I was still losing. However, at one point I started to look unhealthy. I even remember standing in my living room holding my skin leaning under a light and asking my husband if he could see my spleen! I was laughing then but now looking back I was most likely to small. When you can see all your ribs and are wondering if people can see your organs well that's a little much!
I started gaining some weight back. I think my body is happy at 130-150. However, after being in the 115-118 range I saw and still see myself as 300 pounds. It is a daily struggle to look in the mirror and say "fuck yea I look awesome!" I started working out again and have made a commitment to go daily. I always try and do my best but sometimes it's hard and I just want to go home. I still make my self go and at least do something. If I don't go at all I will never go back. My brother goes everyday! Even when we went on vacation he went everyday! He inspires me every day and is part of the reason I am determined to go every day! He even answers my stupid questions like "should my arms be tingling? Is it ok if my heart rate is 130?" I am planning on going even more this summer! The goal it's to go everyday or at least 5 of 7 days! With one day being with my brother to help me out! I can already see changes. I see muscle gain but not weight loss. That had always been hard for me. I know though if I keep working at it I will someday look at myself and say yes I can see good change. .
Don't get me wrong I love my body and all my saggy skin. I also don't care what anyone thinks or has to say. At the end of the day it's how do I feel in my own skin. A scale with a ton of shitty not nice numbers on it will not and should not ruin anyone's day. I try not to weigh my self. Maybe once a month or so. I try to focus on how I feel in my own skin and in my clothes! Here are some pictures of my progress just this week at the gym.
Tuesday, May 30, 2017
How did I get here?
Hey everyone, well anyone that reads this. I have wanted to start a blog for a long time. However, it makes me nervous to share my life experiences with others out there. I want to just share with the world my weight loss journey. Weight has always been an issue since I was 8. My weight got out of control when I went to college. At some point at the beginning of my freshman year in college I made the choice to lose weight. Sadly my choice was to stop eating compleatly and work out a ton! Yea, not smart! I started at my highest weight 303 pounds. I lost 70ish pound the wrong way. I ended up gaining 30-40 back.
After college trying to work at my weight was affecting my job. I am a teacher. I was unable to get to my students level to talk to them. In the fall of 2011 I started the process to get approval for a Gastric Bypass. I wanted to have the surgery not only to lose the weight, but to have a happy life/experiences with my now husband Jeff. I started classes through The Ohio State University to teach me good eating and exercise habits. I was approved in may 2012 and had my surgery in July 2012 at The OSU Medical Center. I made it through with no problems and began the process of losing the weight.
I left OSU at 278 pounds. The first six weeks were umm well HELL. That is a totally different post! I started seeing results after the first two weeks. Before I knew it in just over a year I had lost almost all of the weight I wanted to. I went from 278 points to 115 pounds (yes 115 it was to small now that I look back) I gained back some weight due to medication changes and some not so great choices. I now weigh in the 150s. I still struggle with the way I look. When I was at 115 pounds I thought I looked amazing! Now that I am in the 150s I'm unhappy with the way I look. People say you still look great! Yes, I understand that when people see me they think wow you look great. For me it's a mental battle between a scale number and what I see when I look in the mirror. I want to share my struggles and successes with those people who have had some sort of weight loss and struggle to see the great things they have done. I will post more things later. I just wanted to put a summary out there!
I am very proud of what I have accomplished! I am working hard to keep it that way. I am working out daily and doing my best to eat what I'm supposed to! I am looking forward to sharing my crazy experiences, excess skin, and food with the world! Here is just one of many pictures before and after. This is me the morning of my surgery and then me at my lowest weight!
After college trying to work at my weight was affecting my job. I am a teacher. I was unable to get to my students level to talk to them. In the fall of 2011 I started the process to get approval for a Gastric Bypass. I wanted to have the surgery not only to lose the weight, but to have a happy life/experiences with my now husband Jeff. I started classes through The Ohio State University to teach me good eating and exercise habits. I was approved in may 2012 and had my surgery in July 2012 at The OSU Medical Center. I made it through with no problems and began the process of losing the weight.
I left OSU at 278 pounds. The first six weeks were umm well HELL. That is a totally different post! I started seeing results after the first two weeks. Before I knew it in just over a year I had lost almost all of the weight I wanted to. I went from 278 points to 115 pounds (yes 115 it was to small now that I look back) I gained back some weight due to medication changes and some not so great choices. I now weigh in the 150s. I still struggle with the way I look. When I was at 115 pounds I thought I looked amazing! Now that I am in the 150s I'm unhappy with the way I look. People say you still look great! Yes, I understand that when people see me they think wow you look great. For me it's a mental battle between a scale number and what I see when I look in the mirror. I want to share my struggles and successes with those people who have had some sort of weight loss and struggle to see the great things they have done. I will post more things later. I just wanted to put a summary out there!
I am very proud of what I have accomplished! I am working hard to keep it that way. I am working out daily and doing my best to eat what I'm supposed to! I am looking forward to sharing my crazy experiences, excess skin, and food with the world! Here is just one of many pictures before and after. This is me the morning of my surgery and then me at my lowest weight!
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